Q: Does style really matter? I've always thought it was enough just to have really compelling facts and figures?
A: Style matters A LOT. People may want to hear what you have to say. They may even be interested in your subject matter. But if you're not a compelling speaker they're going to have a hard time listening, absorbing and remembering your message.
Q: Why do I always feel like my ideas don't come across right in meetings? Is it just a lack of self-confidence, or am I doing something wrong?
A: Hard to say. That's why a personal coach can be so important. Most likely it's a combination of both — the insecurities most of us feel when speaking before others, plus a few communication skills you could improve on. Here's a tip. Try to stop evaluating your performance while speaking so you can concentrate more on your message and not on how you're saying it. You'll have plenty of time to critique yourself after the meeting is over.
Q: Isn't it true that some people are just born with a fear of public speaking?
A: Not really. We LEARN self-consciousness and fear from criticism we receive as children. We can just as easily RELEARN self-confidence and poise. Fear of public speaking is commonplace, so you're not alone. Be proactive and do something about it. Volunteer at your place of worship, community center or youth club. Put yourself in front of others and the fear will gradually subside.
Q: Can someone change their voice?
A: Absolutely. Of course, the most basic vocal traits are genetic. But with practice you can add strength, power and a tone of conviction to your voice — so you project your best self at all times. If you speak in a monotone, you can extend your range. If you are not breathing properly, you can learn to support your voice. If your pitch is too high or low, you can actually change it through vocal exercises.
Q: What's the best way for me to persuade people to follow my ideas?
A: Be completely convinced in the worth of your concept. Back your idea up with impeccable data that is clearly articulated. Then present the benefits your audience can expect, avoiding patronizing words like "should", "must" and "ought." Finally, charge the air electrically with your point-of-view.
Q: What can I do when forced to work with someone I detest?
A: Use your best communication skills to map out common goals. Keep your eye on the big picture. Refuse to allow petty personal issues to derail you from doing your best work at all times. You don't have to like everyone, but you do have to work with others productively. That means being calm, polite, respectful and logical. Don't allow emotions to get the better of you. Try to separate issues from personalities.
Q: I've got writer's block and can't organize my presentation. Help!
A: Write one sentence stating the "take-away" message you want your audience to receive. Then write three (and only three) ideas that support that message. Look carefully at what you wrote. You most likely have the structure for your presentation.
Q: I'm no good at thinking on my feet. But I have to do it all the time. Any suggestions?
A: You can think just fine, whether or on your feet or sitting in a chair. The problem is not with your brain, but with your emotions, namely fear and self-consciousness. Decide once and for all that you will overcome these feelings — using skills you can learn in a class or coaching sessions. You might want to think about taking an adult education improvisation class to tap into your creative side for more spontaneity and fun.
Q: Any tips on improving my conversation and networking skills?
A: Put your attention on the other person. Become an excellent listener. Develop a genuine interest in others and their well-being. Every conversation you have depends on "active listening," where you summarize what you think the other person meant. All the topics and clues you'll ever need for a successful discussion lie on the tip of THEIR tongue — not yours.
Q: What can I do to reach my customers more effectively?
A: Put yourself in their position and provide them with only information that is essential to them. Become a partner rather than an adversary, and help them solve their problems. Thoughtfully analyze their issues and concerns. Remember -- it's not about reaching your customers, it's about reaching OUT to your customers. Establish a "moment-of-truth philosophy," so that every time customers come in contact with your company they have a genuinely positive experience, whether it's driving into your parking lot, greeting your receptionist or hearing your voice mail.