Amanda Learns to Be the Boss
Being tapped for a promotion is great for the ego. But problems can arise when you have to manage people who were your peers just days before.
Amanda, a financial analyst in a large investment firm, found out fast about the flip side of career advancement. When she was promoted into management, she suddenly was supervising former colleagues. Plus her former boss now reported to her - and he was openly resentful about taking orders.
"The last thing I wanted to do was lord it over everyone," Amanda says. "Yet I needed to get things done. I found myself in an impossible situation, where nobody took me seriously, and my former manager created obstacles to prevent my success."
Call the Coach in a Crisis
Amanda was clearly failing. Morale dropped in her group. People started quitting and asking for transfers out of her department. Customers even lodged formal complaints. She had to find an answer or she'd be out of a job.
Amanda called Communication Power and set up coaching sessions with Richard Klees. He explained where she was making mistakes. Soon she was able to take charge of her group, become assertive, and eventually enjoy her new role at the top.
Redefining Relationships
Amanda's first task was to learn to separate personal and business relationships - not easy, because her peers had previously been her buddies.
"Before, we talked about everything together," she says. "But this prevented me from acting with appropriate authority, like a manager must. So I made a deliberate shift and set up some mental boundaries. I still have lunch with my friends, for instance. But I limit the topics I'll talk about. We stick to personal matters now, things like our families, health and movies."
Some of the coaching advice came as a surprise. For example, Amanda had assumed speaking tentatively with employees demonstrated sensitivity. But she was actually being perceived as weak and wishy-washy.
"I learned to cut to the chase and make clear, direct requests," she explains. "People appreciated knowing what I wanted. They needed me to be in command."
Learnable Skills
Did she have to change her underlying personality and become hard-boiled? No. All it took was making some tweaks in her outward demeanor and some of her communication patterns. She learned to speak more assertively. She made certain she spelled out expectations. And she acted like she was definitely in charge.
"My first attempts with the new skills were awkward. I was so self-conscious. So Richard helped me script out how an interaction might go. We role-played different scenarios until I felt confident and smooth. It really helped."
Stamping Out Sabotage
Most difficult of all was the fact that Amanda's former boss was deliberately undermining her. He made himself unavailable, avoiding face-to-face meetings with her. He laughed off all her requests for help, saying that she'd just have to figure everything out by herself. Amanda knew that if she didn't take control soon, she'd have a mutiny on her hands.
"Richard gave me a wonderful strategy, which was to point out the consequences of my former boss's actions. I set up a meeting that he had to attend, and then laid out the alternatives in a no-nonsense manner. He could see I was firm and determined. I think that helped me earn his respect."
Amanda persisted, despite temptations to go back to her old job. "With good coaching, I was able to step up to the plate and grow into a more responsible position. I'm grateful to Richard for helping to make this possible."